Capability
by ShizukaKawa
Summary: Just another day in Superjail and Jared is sick of being treated like dirt, and The Warden is sick of him not cooperating with his schemes. It all comes down to Jared quitting.. But what does that matter? The Warden's more than capable.. Right?


Good golly goodness, what a fine day it is in my Superjail! The sun is shining, incinerating inmates; birds singing, gulping down my miscreants and tearing them limb from limb, oh.. How wonderful it is! I grin down from my office window, cane balancing evenly in the palm of my gloved hand. Though a frown tugs at my lips as I stand impatiently, my tongue tracing my teeth. I quickly turn on my heel, crossing my legs over one another.

"Ugh, where are those two?" I growl. They knew how important this meeting was. Why was it important..? Because _I_, The Warden, have appointed this meeting, that's why. Oh, I just don't see how their lives could possibly revolve without me..?

I frowned to myself, in disapointment, whipping my cellular phone out and quickly dialing Alice's number. It rang once, then twice, and I waited in anticipation to hear the line pick up, feeling a grin widen on my face.

"--Hello?" A manly voice says.

"Alice! Hello! As you know, I have scheduled for this meeting at 8:03, and it's.. 8:07!"

"Sorry, I got a little _tied up_ up here." The manly voice replied on the line.

"Well, try and be here soon! The future of Superjail depends on this meeting!" I shut the phone when Jailbot crashes through the wall, violently slapping a black haired man down onto my floor. I hurl my phone at the metal tombstone, it smashing into tiny pieces. "Jailbot, I will not stand for you bringing this dirty inmate into _my,_office!" Jailbot seems to frown, using his long metal arm to grab the inmate by the leg and tossing him out my window, glass shattering around him, I very faintly hear his screams as he plummets to the ground. "Now make yourself useful and get Jared in here."

Jailbot obeys, his arms shooting through the wall and then reversing, ripping my teeny accountant through the wall with tremendous force. I fail to notice how mangled he looks and get straight to business.

"Took you long enough to get here, Jared. But I guess those stubby little legs of yours can only take you so far.." I notice the papers he so loosely held onto. I let out a gasp and gleefully bound over to him and snatch the papers from his hand. "Oh~~! Are these the plans for my new Super Dome?!" I look them over quickly, my body uncontainable and wiggling. "Yes, yes, m'hm grrreat! These plans are just perfect! Once my Super Dome is complete, I can harness 100.6% of the sun's solar energy and power my brand new.. DETONATING LASER--"

Jared timidly raises his hand, sweating uncontrolably as always. "Um, uh..Warden..? I -- It's come to my attention that these building plans wont come under budget.."

I feel myself scowl. He really put a damper on things. I almost regret hiring that self-centered ass of his. And had he ever heard of an absorbent fresh-wipe!?

"Tch, that's something for you to handle, K, Jared?" I offer a toothy smile, folding the plans into a paper airplane and send it gracfully over to him, it penetrating his eye, causing him to scream and contort. But I am way too excited about my Super Dome to worry too much.

"Hmmmm.. There has been a sudden increase in the amount of inmates being sent to Superjail in the last month of so, but I'm _more_ than confident my detonating laser will take care of that." I can already imagine the fun I'll have with this, plopping down into my chair and thinking how smart I am. In fact, I say it out loud.

"I am itoo/i smart." I boast, folding my lithe arms behind my head. I can still see Jared glaring at me from the corner of my eyes. I frown at him.

"Well, Jared? I thought I asked you, _ever _so nicely to build my Super Dome!" I lean forward. "Or are you just defying my on purpose..?" I poke his large forehead between words for good measure. This seems to anger him and he swats my hand away. I steal it back, gasping softly.

"No!" He screams. "I'm just sick of you treating me like shit!"

"You want me to treat you like shit, huh? Huh, Jared? Is that how it's gonna be-- Fine!" I push him over and step on his stomach, grinding my heel into him. He yelps and squirms under me like the little rat I feel he is right now. "How's this?!" I scream, purely angry. He somehow finds his way from under me, gasping and cringing. ".. I don't have to take this.. From such an insane man like you!"

"Well, I dont need an accountant who's as boring and .. and sweaty as _you_!"

He gasped, instantly breaking out into a puddle of sweat. "Y-you take that back!"

"Well I just can't do that, Jared. ..Because.. you're fired!"

The room falls silent, and both of us stand here frozen. The look of shock on Jared's face is undeniable. His face turns red with rage, and I think I see tears in his eyes. "F-fired..?! Y-.. You can't fire me! B-because I quit!"

I can't hide the look of surprise on my face, which also dissolves into anger. "Well, that's just perfect. Juust perfect!" I plunk don't into my chair and turn away from my ex-accountant. "Dont let the door hit you where the good Lord spllllit cha'." I remark bitterly, shooing him away with my gloved hand.

I hear the door slam, and the room falls silent again. I then hear the sound of Jailbot twitter, but I don't react. Great, my day is just ruined, all because of stupid Jared. _Now_ who was going to build my Super Dome??

I hear the door open again and swivel around to see Alice, wearing some sort of bondage costume. "What's going on around here?" She says in her masculine voice. Somehow, I fail to notice how manly it is compared to my own, sunshiny rainbow voice. I do a 360 in my chair.

"Hmph! Jared just quit." I mutter, my yellow tinted vision glancing down at my black Andrew Loafers.

"..The dork quit? Tch, so that's why that loser crying hysterically down the hall."

Pang.

I feel my eyebrows raise slowly, my teeth coming to bite my lower lip. My emotion changes suddenly into a thick apathy. "Pfft! He was being awfully selfish towards me, I had no choice but to fire him."

I change the direction of the conversation quickly. "I'll have to find other means of building my Super Dome." I tap my fingers on the glass of my over looking window, slowly, devilishly. "Jailbot! Round up the strongest inmates we house! The building will go as planned!"

------

I sit back in my chair, legs resting on my desk. My eyes are closed and I breathe in carefully, listening to the calming sounds of nature and soft chiming of musical instruments. It's been a day and a half since Jared quit, and I have to say, things are going along splendidly! I hum quietly to myself and let myself be taken away to the beautiful utopia in my head.

I feel a hard tap on my shoulder and look up, getting an eye full of Alice's great jugs, them shadowing my head from the light. I sit up quickly removing my head phones, flopping over onto my stomach, laying upon my desk casualy and nervously giving a gap-toothed grin. "A-ah..! Alice! What can I uh.. do you for?" I hope she doesnt notice how madly I'm blushing.

She really was my kind of woman/man.

"Just came to drop off these." She holds up a small stack of papers. I smirk, leaning over towards her enticingly. "Is that iall/i you came here for, my dear?" I raise my brows suggestivly, but her expression doesnt really change.

"Uh, pretty much." She drops the pages on my desk with a dull slap. I frown, sitting up properly.

"Hn.." I pout, idly going through the papers before grabbing them all in one quick shocked motion. "Wh- what's all this?!"

"I dunno," Alice replied, picking the wax from her ear. "Looks like expense reports to me."

"Expenses?! For what?!"

"Uh.. The Super Dome?"

"..Oh, right." I mutter, sinking slowly into my seat. I look at the papers again, burying my face in them and trying to ignore the expense margin. "I do suppose 400,000 pounds of radiated cobblestone sun panels _are _quite .. expensive.." I teeter back and forth in my chair. "No matter. I'll just cut the spending for--"

"You already cut the spending of everything for experiments 7-10 last week." Alice _has_ to point out.

"Grr..! I'll worry about this later." I growl, hearing a loud "ding!" go off. I gasp softly and remove my hat, where a small steaming bowl in sitting. "Yay! My instant mac and cheese is done!" I take my pasta off, taking my fork and quickly chowing down on it, hoping comfort food would.. well, comfort me.

My eyes boggled and I quickly spit it out, tears forming in my vision. "H-hooot!!!" I scream, a hand coming to cradle the outside of my mouth. Alice says nothing, but only stares at me like a fool.

"Damn it! Jared's usualy the one to cool my food before I eat it, but now that he's gone-- ugh, how can I eat like this!?"

Jailbot, who'd been standing off to the side, quickly hovers over, offering to cool my food with a nitrogen blast, it turning my meal into a frozen chunk of ice. My eyes narrow and I frown.

"Never mind! I'm not even hungry anymore." I stand, grabbing my hat and my cane jumps off the rack to be held in my grip. "I'm going to go check on my Super Dome."

* * *

Yes, I know it's short and seems to cut off, but I hope you enjoyed! I'll get the second chap out soon! :D


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